Numb
by YueRaven224
Summary: "...Was it all just a game?" Songfic-Numb by Linkin Park. For child abuse awareness month. Rated T for dark themes, abuse, mentioned self-harm, and suicide.


Robin POV

Age: 13

I sat there, waiting in the 'therapy' room with Black Canary waiting for her to say something in response to my statement. It was true, what I said. I no longer wanted to become Batman. I did not want to walk in my mentor's shoes. I knew he wanted me to carry on the legacy of the Batman but I just couldn't. I can't be the person he wants me to be. When I try, I just feel so faithless and lost. I don't know what to do.

Age: 14

Sweat dripped down my face as I completed to obstacle course that Bruce had set up in the gym. I looked at him hopping to see pride on his face, a smile, a gleam in his eyes, anything that said I did good, or at least good enough. But like every time my hopes were crushed as he looked at me with a look in his eyes that mimicked disgust and said

"Again, and this time not so sloppy. When will you ever learn?"

"Yes sir" came my automatic reply. He left the room for me to practice. I started the course only to collapse in the middle of it. I was no surprise considering I had been practicing for three hours straight. On top of that I had not slept in four days due to nightmares and nonstop crime and had not eaten in four days as well. I was use to this by now. The consent training, the lack of sleep, no food, the stress, and Bruce's impossible expectations. I struggled to get up but exhaustion overtook me and I fell into a deep slumber.

Age: 14

I was furious. I punched Tony Zucco with all I had, sending rapid blows to his head. Then a voice stopped me. KF…

"Dude! Stop!" He yelled as he grabbed my fist and faced me. "You have to stop or you'll kill him. I know what he did to you was unforgivable but you can't stoop to his level. You're not a killer." I looked down at Zucco's mangled face and the blood on my hands. I let Wally's words sink in and relized what I had almost. I faintly remember saying the same thing to Batman a few years back when he finally caught Joe Chill. I was just like him. In a time of weakness, I let my anger get the best of me. I was becoming what I did not want to be. I had become as dark as the Bat.

Age: 19

"It's not your choice. I decide who I want to be!" I screamed at my ex-mentor. I had decided to hang up the Robin suit and become my own hero and move to Blüdhaven. Bruce didn't exactly agree with this.

"Well it's an idiotic decision and I won't let you ruin your life like this!" He exclaimed

"Oh, just because you don't like it automatically means it's bad! Wake up Bruce! The world doesn't revolve around you! I mean, look around you. Look at where your decisions have gotten us all! Barbra is paralyzed from the waist down, Stephanie's gone, Tim left, and don't even get me started on Jason! I-"Dick's rant was suddenly cut off by the sound of Bruce's fist meeting Dick's cheek. Dick fell to the floor with a 'thud'. He looked up at his former mentor.

"Don't you dare mention Jason! He was my son as well as Tim. I want to help you while you want to waste your life in Blüdhaven! I should of never taken you in you ungrateful little brat!" He spat, his words laced with venom. I glared at him, anger boiling inside of me. I could now only see red.

"Help me?! You abused me! Maybe not physically but for years I was hurt mentally. I thought I was never good enough for you! That I was just some gypsy trash that you took in just for the image. For years I've tried everything to make you proud. Struggled to be good enough to be your son but apparently I will never be. I mean, Jason and Tim were your sons, you paid attention and cared about them. You've told them you loved them but why not me? Why? I just want to know. Did you at one point actually care one bit about me or was this all just a game?"

Age: 17

I was at the top of Wayne Enterprises, ready to jump, ready to fall, just like my parents. But something stopped me. I know that I've failed Bruce one too many times. I know that no one would miss me if I jumped, but yet, something stirred in my heart that told me not to. With Jason, Stephanie, Carrie and Tim all gone, there would be no one from stopping Bruce from going dark again. To stop him from crossing that line. I knew that even thought, they won't miss me, they might still need me. Bruce might still need me. I knew that even though he barely acknowledged me- the scars on my arms that were yet to be discovered by the world's greatest detective was proof of that- he will need me. I walked away from the ledge and went home.

Age: 19

An empty pill bottle lay besides me as I slowly began to drift into a permanent sleep. I had finally found the nerve to do what I couldn't two years ago. Soon, I would be with my Mami and Tati again. I will be with people who love me. After thirteen years of mental abuse I would finally be free. I definitely knew that no one would need me. No one would miss me. They probably won't even notice I'm dead in my room until Alfred decides to get me out and talk to Bruce or something like that. In my final moments I could faintly hear someone calling my name but it was too late. I would no longer be a burden. I will no longer be abused. I will no longer be numb.

**Yue- This Fan Fiction is for child abuse awareness month. This is a very serious matter. An average of five children per day in the US will die from child abuse. Only a few kids are lucky enough to survive one of the 5 major types of abuse. There is Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Psychological Maltreatment, Medical neglect and the biggest one of all, Neglect. These children think they are alone but they're not. We must show them that. My friend was once abused but he spoke up and is now living with loving foster parents and a protective foster-sister. Please help anyone who you know is being abused or talk to them if they show signs or you think they are being abused. For more information on this topic please go to www. Child Help .org (remove spaces). Also, I encourage you to read "A child called it" By Dave Pelzer, it's an autobiography about Dave who when through the most severe child abuse cases in California history. I believe once you read it, it will show you just how severe child abuse can be and how hurt a child can truly get.**


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